i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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