the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize