OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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