I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
