He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
