dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
