Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
