She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
