i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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