I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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