She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
