party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
