she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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