Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
