I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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