Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
