He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
