i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize