I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
