I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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