Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
