I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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