I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
