East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
