you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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