will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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