My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
