Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
