What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
