dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
