so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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