So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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