Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
