well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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