I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
