is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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