similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
