Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
