Already got asked if we're dating
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
