thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
