girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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