I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize