He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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