You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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