Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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