I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
