i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Panties = found
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