Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Text me some of your sweat
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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