i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize