How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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