We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There's even glitter on my cock...
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