There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
