all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
