how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize