Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
