Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
