I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
