Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do herpes really smell.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
