I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize